Torture.

If I'm not the only daughter, I think I will suicide now. I have been tortured in almost one year plus. I can see my life is full of hopeless. I really wish dooms day can come earlier. No one could understand my feeling, seriously. I hope I can meet someone who's really can cheer me up and always encourage me. I really hope I can die earlier, and I'm really not sure with every decision. I wish every decision I made is the right one. I think I'm really down right now. I thought my life will like a romantic love story? Something like: when im down, I go to airport alone and my books drop, a man help me to pick up the books and we fall In love. After he marry me and give me money every month. Wth, this wouldn't happen in life man. Our life is so damn cruel! No prince no love story, only have witches. Sometimes I really feel like wanna give up, but you know what? The begs make me feel like: my god, last chance. After that, damn, happen again. Wth, am I the only one who always get bad luck? And this is why I feel so hopeless in my life. Damn! Bye.

Lost.

I feel lost recently, everything changed in a sudden. All my plans changed. When everyone ask me: Wth, when are you going to study? I can't talk suddenly and feel bad. Hmm, I don't know what am I think right now, but it actually hurts. Cause the way they ask was like: Wtf? Are you wasting your time right now? How old are you now, why still stuck in Labuan? Oh my god, who wants to stuck in this little island? Haihhhh, I just don't know, everything change in a sudden. I don't know what I chose now is a right decision or not, I pray to my popo and hope it's the right decision. I wish I can back to my secondary school life. Go to school sleep and talk with friends. Exam? Damn, just do revision before exam la. After that, if get a worse result, don't show it to parents and try my best again. Lol, so relax man. But now? Everyday suffering, can't even find a trustable school. Who wants to wasting time? Who wants to camp in house like no tomorrow? No ones right? I think nobody knows this feeling and only me. So damn down right now....

盡力了

我知道大家都盡力了 只是真的很好奇為什麼我們不能和一般人一樣 我們都盡全力了 真的 有時候真的很累 很累很累 很久沒這樣的感覺了 我需要冷靜 只是我真的覺得很不公平 都努力了 但還是這樣 有時候會感覺到絕望 真的好想休息 我真的累了..

My classmates.

I think everyone have classmates and of course me too. But I have a very awesome and special classmates. I spend all my time with them, I mean morning, not all actually. HAHAHA! We always play in our class and talk like nobody is beside us. I think that's why teachers always scold us, but teachers love us too. I have a classmate which is very special, her name is Lai Pei Wen. Since her sir name is LAI, I think we can almost know how is her attitude. She is good actually but just got a little bit 39-1 ? HAHAHAHAH! And of course she is very gorgeous, and please, no offense. Hahaha! I fought with her many times, and she is good cause after fought with her, she will forget everything and start talking with you, hahaha! And the another one is Needa Lim Li Ling. OH MY GOD, she is INSANE! But I think that's the reason Why I like to play with her. She wont angry if you do anything to her, this is what we call 'wan de qi'. Salute her! Hahaa, she told me she is a Sino kadazan, ehh noo no no, she is bisaya, her language is kind like korea ? Hahaha, When she calls her mother, I cant understand what's she talking about. Oh ya, she likes to tell jokes, but seriously her jokes are so lameeeeeeeeee. But all my classmates laugh like hell, I also dont understand WHY. HAHAHA! Next, Melanie. Oh my god, she has a same height with me, so maybe is around 153cm ? Hahaha. She likes to act like an owl and She is a very speacial person, she likes to help people. she can't speaks chinese, so when she speaks chinese with me, it's like you are asking an elephant be friend with mouse. Hahaha! My class has 19 people and of course I cant describe it one by one, if I can, I will be an author right now. The most important part is I have a best-est friend in my class. She's Adelyn, she is totally different with me, she is good in studies, and teachers love her. I dont know how to describe her cause there's too many things to descibe. Hahaha, so that's my classmate, I love them so much and I won't forget them til the end of the day. ;)

Freedom.

WTF ?! Actually I wrote a long blog just now. But accidentally pressed cancel. Oh my god, all the words are gone. A big LOL. -.- But it's okay. Just continue. My PAPA love me so much and of course me too. But I just need a little freedom from him. I suffered 2 months. I thought my PAPA will set me free after this fucking SPM. BUt oh my god, he is not. He keep on limiting my time. I need to release my stress like seriously. I can't keep staying at home and just watch movie. I'm not insulting my PAPA, I know he loves me. But I just need a little bit freedom. I'm 17 years old and going to be 18 years old. I'm not a small kid anymore. I turn to a teenager now, not being Samseng or what. I'm just sharing what's on my mind. But no matter what, I still love my PAPA so much. I know he will do this cause he worry bout me. So I just accept it and listen to him. I just want to have a little bit freedom. That's all. Still love you so much PAPA. <3

Tomorrow is the end of SPM.

Tomorrow is the end of SPM and I don't feel like happy. WHY! It's because Amanda is going to left us soon. She goes to KL on January. :( Haihh. You will never know the feeling of losing a best-est friend. But fortunately, Paula is going to left on February! I'm gonna spend all my time with her! Of course lykai and delyn too! I just love them very much including HUI VERN JING AND TING! I miss all of them! Actually I'm studying now but suddenly feel like want to blog. Hahaha! And I feel sad to left St.anne. St.anne is the awesome school and my classmate too! They are just awesome than you could imagine. I miss those day we were playing around in class and with teachers. I miss Cikgu Salmah, Mrs Teh, Puan Lim, Cikgu Aminah, Cikgu Wan, and Cikgu Jackson! HAIHHH!! K la, have to study now. Fight for Cikgu Wan! And also myself la. HAHAHAH!

SPM. Wowwwwww!

4 down 6 more to go! Wish me luck. Waiting for holiday. Yeayyyy. See you on December! Bye


I wondered why Adelyn Michelle Almodiel want to hack into my blog account ? HAHAHA! I think she was too boring :p